Every connection has room for improvement. Looking honestly at your interactions with your adult child helps you understand your current relationship and how you can make it better. Think about what's going well with your child. If there's a problem, it can be easy to focus on that and miss the positive aspects of the relationship.
Be honest about your role as well. You might notice behaviors from your child that strain the relationship, but it's possible your behaviors also contribute to the tension. You have more control over your actions, so looking for ways to improve on your part could be more effective.
Being open with your communication can help improve your relationship with your adult children. Posing the question of how they feel about it shows them you care and you're willing to listen. You might hear opinions you didn't know your adult children had, which can help you make changes to the relationship. When you ask for their feedback, listen without judgment and without interrupting. Avoid getting defensive if they bring up concerns. You can share your side, but keep it positive.
As an older adult, you have lots of real-world experience and advice to offer. It's natural to want to help your children with that knowledge. However, offering unsolicited advice can put a strain on the relationship. Your adult children want to make their own decisions. Hearing advice from you could make them feel you don't trust their abilities. Feel free to share your advice if your child asks for it, but don't force your opinions on them when they don't ask. If you have wisdom to share on a topic, you might ask them if they'd be interested in your perspective. Only share if they're willing to hear it.
You never outgrow the desire to help your children, but they might feel like you're trying to take over their lives if you offer unsolicited aid. Instead, ask your adult children for ways you can help. They might not want advice on where they should send their kids to school, but they might accept contributions toward your grandchildren's educational costs. Asking how you can help lets your adult children know you're available for them while giving them control over how you're involved. They also have a better understanding than you do of what they need assistance with, so the suggestions can be more beneficial.
Both you and your adult children need limits in place to maintain a positive relationship. It's important to set boundaries with your kids and respect theirs. For instance, if your adult children want you to babysit your grandchildren frequently, you might need to set limitations on when and how often you do so. Your children might set boundaries on what you can do with your grandchildren or what topics they're willing to discuss with you. Avoid pushing the limits your children set. When you need to put boundaries in place, explain them to your children clearly and maintain them even if they try to push them.
Praise them for major and minor accomplishments to show them you recognize what they're doing. You might also acknowledge the challenges they're facing and how well they're handling them. They might not feel like they're managing a difficult situation well, so hearing your vote of confidence could give them a needed boost. It can also help to tell them you believe in their skills and abilities to handle difficult things.
It's not always easy to coordinate schedules with your adult children. Your active lifestyle at LifeStream at Youngtown keeps you busy, and they have their responsibilities as well. However, finding regular time to get together, even if it's just to share a meal, helps you stay connected. You might pick various activities around Youngtown to do together. If you don't live near your children, schedule regular video chats.
Having an active social life and pursuing your interests could help improve your relationship with your kids. Try a new hobby, such as candle making, or become more active within your community. Join a senior group or class. Your kids will enjoy watching you live your life and might worry less about you. It also takes some of the focus off them so they don't feel like you're watching and critiquing everything they do.
You might not have as much direct influence on your adult children's lives as you once did, but you can still impact them by praying for them. Asking God to give them the wisdom to handle life situations can help them and give you peace. Pray about specific situations they're facing or for general guidance, safety and comfort.
